Two guys
are out hunting deer. The first
guy says, "Did you see that?"
"No," the second guy
says.
"Well, a bald eagle just flew overhead," the first guy says.
"Oh,"
says the second guy.
A couple of minutes later, The first guy
says, "Did you see that?"
"See what?" the second guy
asks.
"Are you blind? There was a big, black bear walking on that hill, over
there."
"Oh."
A few minutes later the first guy says:
"Did you see that?"
By now, the second guy is getting
aggravated, so he says, "Yes, I
did!"
And the first guy says: "Then
why did you step in it?"
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Two hunters
got a pilot to fly them into
the far north for elk hunting. They were
quite successful in their
venture and bagged six big bucks. The pilot
came back, as arranged,
to pick them up. They started loading their gear
into the plane,
including the six elk. But the pilot objected and he
said, "The plane
can only take four of your elk; you will have to leave
two behind."
They argued with him; the year before they had shot six
and the
pilot had allowed them to put all aboard. The plane was the same
model
and capacity. Reluctantly, the pilot finally permitted them to
put
all six aboard. But when the attempted to take off and leave the
valley, the little plane could not make it and they crashed into the
wilderness.
Climbing out of the wreckage, one hunter said to
the other, "Do you
know where we are?"
"I think so," replied
the other hunter. I think this is about the
same place where
we landed last year!"
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Two Canadian hunters were driving through the
country to go bear hunting. They came upon a fork in the road where
a
sign read "BEAR LEFT" so they went home.
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Some men go on a hunting
trip and separate
into pairs. That
evening one hunter, Sam, returned to camp alone
toting a 12
point buck. "Where's George?" one of the men asked,
noticing
that Sam had returned alone.
"He's about 6 miles back.
He tripped and broke his ankle. I left
him there 'cause I figured
ain't nobody 'bout to steal him."
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A big-game hunter went on safari with his wife
and
mother-in-law. One evening, while still deep in the jungle, the
Mrs awoke to
find her mother gone. Rushing to her husband, she
insisted on them both
trying to find her mother. The hunter picked up
his rifle, took a swig
of whiskey, and started to look for her. In a
clearing not far from the
camp, they came upon a hilling sight: the
mother-in-law was backed up
against a thick, impenetrable bush, and
a large male lion stood facing
her. The wife cried, "What are we
going to do?" "Nothing," said the
hunter husband. "The lion got
himself into this mess, let him get
himself out of it."
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Two men were out hunting when one of them saw
a rabbit. "Quick," said the first, "shoot it." "I can't," said
the second. "My gun isn't loaded." "Well," said the first," you
know that, and I know that, but the rabbit doesn't."
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The big game hunter was showing his friends
his
hunting trophies. Drawing their attention to a lion skin rug on
the
floor he said, "I shot this fellow in Africa. Didn't want to
kill such a
magnificent beast, of course, but it was either him or
me." "Well,"
said a guest, "he certainly makes a much better rug than
you
would!"
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Two Virginia boys, Sonny
and Rick, went
out hunting and split up. Sonny heard some rustling in the
bushes
and, by mistake, shot his friend.
After trying to remove the
bullet, he carried Rick to a doctor.
Two hours later, after the
physician had patched up the wounded hunter,
Sonny asked, "Please, Doc.
How's my friend?"
"Well," answered the M.D., "he'd be a lot
better off if you hadn't
taken out his gut!"
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An avid duck hunter was in the market for a
new bird dog. His
search ended when he found a dog that could
actually walk on water to
retrieve a duck. Shocked by his find, he was
sure none of his friends
would ever believe him. He decided to try to
break the news to a friend
of his, the eternal pessimist who
refused to be impressed with anything.
This, surely, would impress him.
He invited him to hunt with him and
his new dog. As they waited by
the shore, a flock of ducks flew by. they
fired, and a duck fell.
The dog responded and jumped into the water.
The dog, however, did
not sink but instead walked across the water to
retrieve the bird,
never getting more than his paws wet. This continued
all day long;
each time a duck fell, the dog walked across the surface of
the water
to retrieve it. The pessimist watched carefully, saw
everything,
but did not say a single word. On the drive home the hunter asked
his friend, "Did you notice anything unusual about my new dog?" "I
sure did," responded the pessimist. "He can't swim."
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What is the best way to hunt bear ?
With
your clothes off.
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