The Fire brigade phones George Graham in
the
early hours of Sunday morning.
"Mr Graham sir, White Hart
Lane is on fire!"
"The cups man! Save the cups!" cries
George.
"Uh, the fire hasn't spread to the canteen yet, sir."
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A man who worked at a fire hydrant factory
was always late for work.
When confronted by his boss the man
explained:
"You can't park anywhere near this place!"
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A man calls the fire
department and
says, "Yes, I have just had my front yard landscaped, I
have a nice
new flower bed, a new fish pond with a fountain and a new
rose
garden."
"Very nice," the firefighter says, "but what does that have
to do
with the fire service?"
"Well," the man answers, "the
house next door is on fire and I
don't want you to trample my front
yard."
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Three firefighters
went out on a
hunting trip. There was a rookie, a captain, and a chief.
The weather
was
misrable and they hadn't seen any deer all day. They came across
an
old shack where they went inside to play
a game of poker.
After loosing a couple of hands, the rookie threw down
his cards and
said "that does it! I am
going out to get me a deer." Fifteen minutes
later, the rookie came
back with a nice four point buck.
The
captain and chief asked, "how did you get that?" The rookie replied,
"I walked out fifty feet, followed some
tracks and shot this buck".
The captain then said, "I've had enough
of this I am going to get
my deer." He
came back a half hour later with a 6-point buck. The
chief asked, "how
did you get that?" The captain replied,
"I walked
out a hundred feet, followed some tracks and shot this
buck." The
chief not wanting to be out done
said "I am out of here, I am g
oing to bag the biggest buck of the
day." He came back an hour
later, all mangled
up and bloody. The rookie and captain asked, "what
happened to you?"
The chief replied, "I walked out there
five
hundred feet, followed some tracks, and got hit by a
train."
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Q: Did you know that the three wise men
were firemen?
A: It says they came from afir (a fire, a far).
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A fire chief died and went to heaven. When
he got there he saw a long line waiting to get in to the pearly
gates.
He told himself, "I'm a fire chief, I'm not going to wait in
line."
He went to the angels guarding the gates and said, "Let
me in. I'm a
fire chief." The angels replied, "You'll have
to
wait in line like everyone else, sir."
While waiting at the back
of the line he saw a sedan pull up with red
lights and a man got
out wearing a white
helmet that said "CHIEF". The angels popped to
attention and let the
chief enter heaven. The waiting fire
chief
was pissed and went to talk to the angels.
He asked, "Why did you
let that fire chief go through and not me?" To
which the angels
replied, "You have it all
wrong, sir. That's God, he just thinks he's
a Fire Chief."
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Q. What does CHAOS stand for?
A.The
Chiefs Have Arrived On Scene.
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Q.What do you get when you cross a Fire
Chief two Lotus Notes
Gurus ?
A. FireWeb .... of course!
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There was a huge fire at a big city soda
factory. The city
company was losing ground and the owner
was
frantic. He told the fire department that he needed a secret formula in
the safe that was in the center of the
blaze, and he would give
10,000 dollars to the department that got the
formula. An hour later
no ground was
gained and a mutual aid call was put out. When 12
departments couldn't
subdue the blaze the owner saw this
he raised
the reward to 100,000 dollars. Suddenly a small town
department
drove their truck right into the fire
and emerged 10 minutes later with
the formula. When asked what they
would do with the money one
said,
"Get them damn brakes fixed we figure."
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Q.How can you tell when a Chicago Fireman
is dead?
A. The remote control slips from his hand.
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