A blonde goes into work one morning crying her
eyes out.
Her boss, concerned about his employee's well being,
asks
sympathetically, "What's the matter?"
The blonde
replies, "Early this morning I got a phone call saying that
my mother
had passed away."
"I'm terribly sorry to hear that. Why don't
you go home for the
day... we aren't terribly busy. Just take the
day off to relax and rest."
The blonde very calmly explains,
"No, I'd be better off here. I need
to keep my mind off it and I
have the best chance of doing that here."
The boss agrees and
allows the blonde to work as usual. "If you need
anything, just let me
know," he says.
A few hours pass and the boss decides to check
on the blonde. He looks
out over his office and sees the blonde
crying hysterically. He rushes
out to her, and asks, "Are you going to
be okay? Is there anything I
can do to help?"
"No," re
plies the blonde, "I just got a call from my sister, and she
said
that HER mom died too!"
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A blonde was
walking down the road with a
healthy looking pig under her arm. As she
passed the bus stop,
someone asked,
"Where did you get that?"
The pig replied, "I won
her in a raffle!"
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Two blondes were in a parking lot trying to
unlock the door of their car with a coat hanger.
First Blonde:

"I can't seem to get this door unlocked!
Second Blonde:
Well you better hurry up. It's starting to rain and the top is
down!
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A blonde was driving down
the road
listening to the radio and was quite upset when she heard
blonde joke after
blonde joke. A little way down the road, she saw another
blonde out
in a field rowing a boat. The blonde stopped her car and
angrily
jumped out yelling,
"You dumb blonde bimbo! It's blondes like
you that give the rest of
us a bad name! If I could swim I'd come
out there and give you what's
coming to you!"
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A dumb
blonde was really tired of being
made fun of, so she decided to have her
hair she would look like a
brunette.
When she had brown hair, she decided to take a drive in
the country.
After she had been driving for a while, she saw a
farmer and a flock of
sheep and thought,
"Oh! Those sheep are
so adorable!"
She got out and walked over to the farmer and said,
"If I can guess how many sheep you have, can I take one home?"
The
farmer, being a bit of a gambler himself, said she could have a
try.
The blonde looked at the flock and guessed, "157."
The
farmer was amazed - she was right! So the blonde, (who looked like
a brunette), picked one out and got back into her car.
Before
she left, farmer walked up to her and said.
"If I can guess the
real color of your hair, can I have my dog
back?"
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Why did the blonde tip-toe
past the
medicine cabinet? She didn't want to wake the sleeping
tablets!
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Why did the blonde stare at the orange juice
carton? It said
"concentrate" on it!
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Did you hear about the blonde tap dancer? She
fell in the sink!
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How do you make a blondes eyes shine bright?
Shine a torch in her ear!
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What do smart blondes and UFOs have in common?
You
always hear about them but never see any!
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