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A man with a talking parrot is getting married. On the day of the wedding he says to the parrot "Now look here, I know you are always sat in that window sticking your beak in, when me and my new wife get back from the wedding I want you to turn round and and no matter what you hear I do not want you to turn back or I'll break your neck, do you understand?" The parrot reluctantly agrees. On returning from the wedding the parrot turns round as instructed, and behind him the bride and groom start to pack for the honeymoon. The wife however has packed too much and they can't get the case closed. "Get on top and sit on it baby!" Says the man the woman does so and grunts and moans but can't shut the case. "You get on top baby it might be better" Says the wife, so the man grunts and groans and tries his best but still cant shut the case. After a little thought the man says "Ok we'll both get on top see if that's any better!" The parrot turns round and says "Neck or no neck I have to see this!" Ocena: 0 dodano: piÄ…tek 04 grudnia 2009r.
autor: Bonin
Q: Why do hens lay eggs? A: If they dropped them, they'd break Ocena: 0 dodano: piÄ…tek 04 grudnia 2009r.
autor: Bonin
Q: Why did the turkey cross the road? A: To prove he wasn't chicken. Ocena: 0 dodano: piÄ…tek 04 grudnia 2009r.
autor: Bonin
Late one night, a burglar broke into a house he thought was empty. He tiptoed through the living room but suddenly he froze in his tracks when he heard a loud voice say: "Jesus is watching you!" Silence returned to the house, so the burglar crept forward again. "Jesus is watching you," the voice boomed again. The burglar stopped dead again. He was frightened. Frantically, he looked all around. In a dark corner, he spotted a bird cage and in the cage was a parrot. He asked the parrot: "Was that you who said Jesus is watching me?" "Yes", said the parrot. The burglar breathed a sigh of relief, and asked the parrot: "What's your name?" "Clarence," said the bird. "That's a dumb name for a parrot," sneered the burglar. "What idiot named you Clarence?" The parrot said, "The same idiot who named the Rottweiller Jesus." Ocena: 0 dodano: piÄ…tek 04 grudnia 2009r.
autor: Bonin
What is a polygon ? A dead parrot ! Ocena: 0 dodano: piÄ…tek 04 grudnia 2009r.
autor: Bonin
What do you call a woodpecker with no beak ? A headbanger ! Ocena: 0 dodano: piÄ…tek 04 grudnia 2009r.
autor: Bonin
How do you get a cut-price parrot ? Plant bird seed ! Ocena: 0 dodano: piÄ…tek 04 grudnia 2009r.
autor: Bonin
What do you call a very rude bird ? A mockingbird ! Ocena: 0 dodano: piÄ…tek 04 grudnia 2009r.
autor: Bonin
How does a bird with a broken wing manage to land safely ? With it's sparrowchute ! Ocena: 0 dodano: piÄ…tek 04 grudnia 2009r.
autor: Bonin
David received a parrot for his birthday. This parrot was fully grown with a bad attitude and terrible vocabulary. Every other word was an expletive. Those that weren't expletives were, to say the least, rude. David tried hard to change the bird's attitude. He was constantly saying polite words and playing soft music, he did anything he could think of. Nothing worked. When he yelled at the bird, the bird got worse. If he shook the bird, the bird got madder and ruder. Finally in a moment of desperation, David put the parrot in the freezer. For a few moments he heard the bird squawking, kicking and screaming and then suddenly, there was quiet. David was frightened that he might have actually hurt the bird and quickly opened the freezer door. The parrot calmly stepped out onto David's extended arm and said: "I'm sorry that I might have offended you with my language and actions, so I ask for your forgiven ess. I will try to correct my behavior." David was astounded at the bird's change in attitude and was about to ask what had changed him when the parrot continued: "May I ask what the chicken did?" Ocena: 0 dodano: piÄ…tek 04 grudnia 2009r.
autor: Bonin
Q: What is a crowbar? A: A place were crows go to get a drink! Ocena: 0 dodano: piÄ…tek 04 grudnia 2009r.
autor: Bonin
Q: Why did the rooster cross the road? A: To get to the chick across the street! Ocena: 0 dodano: piÄ…tek 04 grudnia 2009r.
autor: Bonin
How do you identify a bald eagle? All his feathers are combed over to one side. Ocena: 0 dodano: piÄ…tek 04 grudnia 2009r.
autor: Bonin
What do you get if you cross a nun and a chicken? A pecking order. Ocena: 0 dodano: piÄ…tek 04 grudnia 2009r.
autor: Bonin
What's brown and white and flies all over? Thanksgiving turkey, when you carve it with a chain saw! Ocena: 0 dodano: piÄ…tek 04 grudnia 2009r.
autor: Bonin
What birds spend all their time on their knees ? Birds of prey ! Ocena: 0 dodano: piÄ…tek 04 grudnia 2009r.
autor: Bonin
When is the best time to buy budgies ? When they're going cheap ! Ocena: 0 dodano: piÄ…tek 04 grudnia 2009r.
autor: Bonin
Why is a sofa like a roast chicken ? Because they're both full of stuffing ! Ocena: 0 dodano: piÄ…tek 04 grudnia 2009r.
autor: Bonin
Where do birds meet for coffee ? In a nest-cafe ! Ocena: 0 dodano: piÄ…tek 04 grudnia 2009r.
autor: Bonin
What is green and pecks on trees ? Woody Wood Pickle ! Ocena: 0 dodano: piÄ…tek 04 grudnia 2009r.
autor: Bonin
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